ALIVE!

My heart has been hurting, conflicted, and heavy the last couple of days and this morning it was the same, so I spent some time praying and asking God for peace and wisdom.  What do I do?  What do I not do?  How do I love best while taking care of my own heart?  Then, as I walked into my kitchen our Japanese maple tree caught my eye from the window over the sink and it just took my breath away!  I ran outside in my robe and slippers and took a few pictures trying to capture its unusual beauty and vibrant colors.  It was such a gift.  I just kept thinking about that tree and the exceptionally beautiful Fall colors this year and then...  I heard His voice - “keep your eyes on Me and trust me with all of your heart.  Don’t try to figure it out but acknowledge me in all your ways and I will direct your path.  Keep your eyes on Me!”  It was one of those aha moments and reminders for me.  Once again needing to be reminded.  My heaviness just lifted!  It’s such a gift to be alive.  Yes, it can hurt deeply and it can be glorious as well, but it’s good to be alive.  Hey, what’s the alternative?  To be dead, to numb out, to harden ones heart trying to prevent pain. But God is good and He can do what I cannot do, so I need to keep my eyes on him.  I’m thankful for this gift of life, even when it hurts.  That pain reminds me that I am alive, that I’ve been given a heart, that I’m not dead.  I can love, I can care, I can have joy.  I can pray and I can live this life that I’ve been given and I’m not alone as the One who loves me dearly is always with me.  Without love, where would you and I be right now?  Thank you God that I am ALIVE not only for this life but for all eternity.