In the Silence and Shades of Grey

Who wakes up at 5:30am on vacation?  Well that’s what time it was so I decided to go out on the balcony of our room on the ship while cruising through the Alaskan Fjords heading towards Victoria, BC.  Joe was still sleeping so I had this time to just enjoy the silence, beauty and presence of God without noise and so much distraction.

I opened my Bible to Psalm 91 just take in God’s word in this beautiful silence and I read... “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  This I will declare of the Lord: He alone is my God and I will trust him....” and then in Psalm 90 “Lord, through all generations you have been our home!  Before the mountains were born, before you gave birth to the earth and the world, from beginning to end, you are God....”.

So in the silence with the mist over the water, mountains with many shades of gray and waters quiet and smooth we cruised.  Then, little fish began to jump up and splash down on the water one at a time here and there and two whales go swimming by, I see just their fins and their backs surface the water and I hear them quietly spout, letting out the air from their lungs, and along comes a team of small black and white dolphins swimming by, up and down out of the water.  It was magical!  In the silence and grays around me there was life under the surface and it revealed itself!  I began to ponder the thoughts and concerns of my own heart, the questions: “Where are you at work?  Does anyone care what your word says anymore or do we all just want our own way?  Does the end justify the means?” Then I hear in my spirit:  “Be still and know that I am God!  I am working in places you cannot see.” Yes, in the gray and the stillness He reminded me that he was at work.  I needed those moments with Him, those gentle reminders calmed my soul.  I want many more moments like that and to keep my eyes and heart where they belong - on my Father, walking, trusting, and obeying him.

ALIVE!

My heart has been hurting, conflicted, and heavy the last couple of days and this morning it was the same, so I spent some time praying and asking God for peace and wisdom.  What do I do?  What do I not do?  How do I love best while taking care of my own heart?  Then, as I walked into my kitchen our Japanese maple tree caught my eye from the window over the sink and it just took my breath away!  I ran outside in my robe and slippers and took a few pictures trying to capture its unusual beauty and vibrant colors.  It was such a gift.  I just kept thinking about that tree and the exceptionally beautiful Fall colors this year and then...  I heard His voice - “keep your eyes on Me and trust me with all of your heart.  Don’t try to figure it out but acknowledge me in all your ways and I will direct your path.  Keep your eyes on Me!”  It was one of those aha moments and reminders for me.  Once again needing to be reminded.  My heaviness just lifted!  It’s such a gift to be alive.  Yes, it can hurt deeply and it can be glorious as well, but it’s good to be alive.  Hey, what’s the alternative?  To be dead, to numb out, to harden ones heart trying to prevent pain. But God is good and He can do what I cannot do, so I need to keep my eyes on him.  I’m thankful for this gift of life, even when it hurts.  That pain reminds me that I am alive, that I’ve been given a heart, that I’m not dead.  I can love, I can care, I can have joy.  I can pray and I can live this life that I’ve been given and I’m not alone as the One who loves me dearly is always with me.  Without love, where would you and I be right now?  Thank you God that I am ALIVE not only for this life but for all eternity. 

More Light Needed

Wow!  My little plant is going gangbusters!  About 2 years ago a friend gave me a plant start from his Rex Begonia (Erythrophylla) plant with just 3 little leaves on it and it was rooted in water.  So, I bought my little begonia a new pot with good soil and put it on my kitchen counter so that I could make sure to give it plenty of water as it was started in just water.  I was told that it needed more than usual as it was used to living in water.  It did well and began to put out new leaves.  Needless to say I was very encouraged.  After the first year though I noticed that it was still putting out new leaves but they seemed a little frail.  I needed to remove some of the mature leaves once in a while, but it still looked pretty good and like I mentioned it had new growth. 

Last month I needed the counter space in the kitchen, so I put it in my master bathroom window that got bright diffused light all day and after 4 of weeks in the direct light location I noticed that it began to get more new leaves and the mature leaves were just more healthy looking and just beautiful!  Well, this morning it caught my eye and I began to count all the baby leaves popping out and there were 8 new leaves on it!!  As I thought about how wonderful this plant was doing, I pondered how it just needed more light and how when we are exposed directly to the Light we begin to produce more growth as humans.  The verse that came to mind in that moment was Jesus’ words in John 8:12 “Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

The past 6 years have been a time of transition for me as I was working with our second interim pastor and then Chris was hired as our new pastor almost 5 years ago. I have had the privilege of working in our church office for the last 19+ years and have now worked with 2 full time pastors and 2 interim pastors over that time.  They have all been great to work with and my life has been enriched in this job in so many ways.  Working with our second interim pastor I had a word of encouragement from him, he said to me “God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable”, the he told me of how many people walk close to their calling but never in it.  Those words stayed with me and rang true in my heart.  He also asked me to lead in Communion and I was able to allow God to speak through me in that way and I’ve served a few times since.  Communion is a very special and meaningful time of worship to me and I am humbled to serve in this way.

This time has also been a time of learning to trust God in a deeper way and to discern what He is saying.  Funny, how I think I know how to trust but then new challenges arrive in life that expose lack of trust and growth that is needed.  Working with Chris, our senior pastor I’m learning to rest in Christ and be grateful for his presence in a more slowed down pace of life.  I’m learning to wait on the Holy Spirit to lead and then obey what he says in a deeper way and being still in this season and knowing that God is in charge. I’m now serving in a greater capacity in the AVA ministry as a regional coordinator, training women to be advocates for victims of abuse and speaking in regards to this.  I was asked to preach at Heartland on a Sunday in May with plenty of time to prepare.  It was scary but the Lord spoke to my heart that very morning that Chris asked me to speak.  He told me that Chris was going to ask me to speak in May.  So I was prepared and was able to work through my fears with the Lord before I was asked. He sure knows us fully! I can say that without the encouragement that I was given from Pastor Dave 5+ years ago, I’m not sure I would have accepted.  But God has been with me in amazing ways throughout my life and I continue to learn to trust him.  He is so gracious to me.  He NEVER gives up on us!  So the more that I am in the Light, the more fruit he can produce in my life.  It’s his job, but it’s mine to be in his presence.  And he says to us in Matthew 5:14-15 - “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.”  Let’s live in His light and then be the light to this world!

           

   

Blessings, Blessings, Everywhere!

You don’t have to ask me to come to dinner twice, especially when it’s at one of my children’s homes!  Yesterday, my daughter in law called and invited us to dinner at their home so of course we accepted.  Plus, her sister wanted to give me a pedicure!  Now really, who could say no to all of that!  And my grandson is there!  So it was a win all the way around. 

What a wonderful meal, and healthy on top of that with an exquisite dessert afterwards!  We’re all fairly new to the keto way of eating and quite frankly I was ready to throw in the towel, but last night gave me just what I needed, a delicious meal plus dessert that were keto recipes and ideas for more recipes!  That was just a little side note, my real reason of writing is to give praise to God and to thank my wonderful daughter in law for her love to our family!  Oh, did I menion that she was willing and even wanted to move 2 doors down from me, her mother in law!?  Now, that is totally amazing to me and I will be forever grateful. 

Oh, did I mention that my other son is moving back to Southern CA from Oregon?  He will be driving distance for me again when I want to take a quick trip by myself or when Joe and I both drive down.  I love to fly but Joe doesn’t so it makes it really nice to have them closer!  Plus, I LOVE the beaches in the San Diego area, much warmer and it will be so good for them to be able to be out and about with Ruby more during the year and not house bound due to weather.  We all love this move!

And then, last but not least by any means, my daughter and son in law have decided not to move away to Washington at this time, so we get to hang out more as she is only 15 minutes away.

This has been and still is a season of blessings, not to say that there aren’t trials and challenges in life, there are, but the blessings far outweigh them right now.  The God who knows and love us knows just what our hearts need.  King David says in Psalm 27 “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” I can attest to this truth!  But when life is tipped on the difficult side I remind myself of this truth and that he loves me and is always with me and that it’s not all about me, he is working in this world to bring about his glory.  

The Master Gardener

I had an opportunity to speak at my church and trust God in a bigger way.  Hopefully it will be an encouragement to you.  
http://www.hccripon.org/media/the-master-gardener-by-cindy-perdichizzi

 It’s In The Blood

Joy. Happy. Freedom. Memories. Adventure...

I can’t help it, I LOVE the window seat when I fly!  I love to sit forward and look out as we go down the runway and feel the butterflies in my stomach as we lift off.  The feelings that come over me take me back to my childhood and teen years.  The airport, from my childhood, as my dad would take us to the small local airport to look at the planes.  He loved to fly!  But it wasn’t until my early teen years that he bought our first two seater airplane.  I won’t forget the phone call from him instructing my mom to pick him up from the airport as he had bought a plane!  She wasn’t too happy although she ended up enjoying flying with him and eventually got her student pilot license.  

I loved to fly with my dad, even though he would turn us upside down and dive down with it while I screamed!  He laughed and must have known that I really loved to go up with him.  I never turned down a plane ride.  We lived in Rio Vista and he would fly over the delta with all its beautiful patchwork farmland.  As I’m flying out of Sacramento on this bright sunny day and look out my window all those fun memories come flooding back.  I feel this giddy happiness and it’s always an adventure for me.  I’m off to see my son, Michael and his wife Katie and my adorable little granddaughter, Ruby.  This mode of travel also gets me there faster which means more time to spend with them. 

I have a grandson who is in the Air Force that I’m very proud of - I wonder if he will love to fly?!  If not it’s ok.  

I’m quite sure that some of my family and friends think I’m totally crazy to love to fly after the loss of most of my family in a plane accident but I’m very confident that I’m in good hands and that my Heavenly Father is with me and knows my time wherever I’m at.   

So for now I’ll enjoy every adventure I can and be thankful for this life I’ve been given.  Well, getting ready to land, Portland here I come! 💕

Who Fixes Broken Hearts?

I am a child of the 70's and yes, and from time to time I enjoy listening to music of that era.  I just hear it differently now.  This morning as I was listening to the radio, James Taylor's song came on - "Handy Man".  It's a pretty song and as I listened to the words I knew Who the real handy man has been in my life,  He's the one who gave his life for mine, Jesus Christ.  One line says "If your broken heart should need repair, then I'm the man to see. ".   The whole song spoke to me of God's love and healing power.   You see he whispers the truth of His amazing love into our heart if we will listen.   As an AVA (Advocate Against Violence and Abuse) advocate it really rings true that I have good news to share, there is hope!

There is One who loves us unconditionally.  There is One who can set us free.  There is a way out!  You do not have to live as a victim.  And you are not the lies that have been told to you!  God's love is what your heart really desires!


I want to also give credit to a high school teacher who encouraged me in listening to meanings of songs in the English class that he taught, Mr. Al Coglianese.